Mary Quail: Great Great Great Grandmother (1798-1875)

At the age of 22, on 4 December 1820, Mary married my Great Great Great Grandfather, John Marsden Hanmer, a surgeon, at St Nicholas, Liverpool. John Marsden was the son of Thomas Hanmer, a lay preacher in the Connexion. (Methodists belong to local churches or ecumenical partnerships, but also feel part of a larger connected community, the Connexion.)

The marriage, though apparently in every respect a desirable one was not, according to their son Thomas, wholly approved of by Mary's parents - though this might have had more to do with them losing a valuable helper round the house than with her choice of husband.

Mary died in Birkenhead on 25 September 1875 aged 77 years.

The following information is taken from the Methodist New Connexion magazine, 1875, from an article written just after her death by her son Thomas Hanmer, my Great Great Grandfather.

This book is part of the collection held by the Bodleian Libraries and scanned by Google, Inc. for the Google Books Library Project. For more information see: http://www.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/dbooks

"Mary was born in 1798. Her parents were excellent moral persons, in a comfortable and respectable position in life.

From her earliest childhood it became evident to all that she was inclined with great natural force of character to choose the good and reject the evil. Her parents regularly attended the Established Church, St Ann Street, under the Rev Mr Bannister, but as the family increased they found the distance inconvenient, and at Zion Chapel, belonging to the Methodist New Connexion, lying between their residence and the church, they, often, when the weather was bad, stayed to worship, until at last, enjoying the simple service at the chapel, they took a pew and settled with the congregation. Mary was never so happy as when with her parents she as worshipping God in His house of prayer.

She was of a quiet, retiring disposition, and to her, above all the rest of the family, her mother's anxieties and cares were confided. While naturally enough the other children would respond to call to pleasure, she would elect to remain at home to do what she could to make her parents' burdens light. When yet very young [22 years old] she married Mr John Marsden Hanmer, surgeon, son of Mr Thomas Hanmer, a lay preacher in the Connexion, having previously laboured in the old body in a like way, and having met and helped the Rev John Wesley when that renowned and great man visited Liverpool.

At the time we write of there were three well-known and much-loved lay preachers in Liverpool - viz: Thomas Hanmer, James Aspinall and John Fowler, who having served faithfully their day and generation were gathered unto their fathers; Mr Thomas Hanmer being the first to exchange earth's services for Heaven's joys.

This marriage, though apparently in every respect a desirable one, was not to Mary's parents altogether an occasion for gladness. She had been so much to them in her eager anticipation of their needs and in her quiet helpfulness in every department of the domestic establishment, that now being about to quit the home of her childhood for ever, they felt that their loss would be great indeed. Within 6 years four children were born to them; one however, a girl, died in infancy, leaving a daughter and two sons, too soon, alas! to be watched over and cared for by one parent only. The father when out on professional duties took a cold, which passed into fever and in a few days ended for ever his earthly career. The young widow had now to consider how best to meet the world with her young charge, and true to her character and instincts (though well-nigh broken-hearted) did not sit down to weep the hysterical tears of imbecile despondency, but rose like the phoenix from the ashes of her expectations and hopes, determined, although her parents offered to share with her their home, to make a living, God helping, for herself and offspring.

She at once commenced in a small but respectable way of trade. God honoured His trustful servant, brought to her many friends as customers, and in about sixteen years with her savings and a small property left her by her father, she was enabled to retire at a comparatively early age. In the meantime she had educated respectably her children and given according to her means to God's cause and to philanthropic purposes.

It has been said before that from her earliest days she chose to live in the fear of the Lord, and it is thought that she must almost insensibly have passed from the righteousness which is by the law to that which is by faith in Christ Jesus. If the righteousness which is by the law can save, then it really might almost be said that she was saved by it - if faith and trust in the righteousness and finished work of Christ saves, then it can confidently be said she was saved by faith in Him. But it seems there as a period in her early history - say about fourteen years of age - when the Holy Spirit, through, it is believe4d, the preaching of His servant, the Rev. W Driver, in the year 1812 (the date of her first ticket of membership still in the possession of her daughter, Mrs Williams), opened her eyes to the fulness of the Father's love in Christ Jesus, which when she had more fully apprehended she gave expression to her thankfulness and responsive love to all who came within the circle of her acquaintance, and especially within the narrower circle of her domestic and social life. She continued loyal to the Church of her choice the remainder of her life, sixty-three years, receiving the token of membership to the last quarter - viz: July of this year.

She received the revelation of God's will and grace with firmness, yet most child-like simplicity, and attempts to shake her faith and trust fell like shafts against a wall of granite, blunted and broken. However much she might have been profited in a pecuniary sense thereby, not one tittle out of the path of rectitude could she be got to move. She believed in God and she obeyed His commandments; she both loved Him with all her heart and did her best to love her neighbour as herself. Many sweet incidents of this love for the general well-being of the community could be adduced, but space will not permit the relation of more than one. She never was a pledged abstainer from stimulants, but never hardened her heart nor closed her eyes to the appalling effects of our drinking customs, and so prayed many an earnest prayer and did all she could to counteract them. The tempter at one time assumed a genteel brewer's garb ad came to her with silvery tongue "to sympathise at the loss of rent and she a poor widow must have had to bear, through that corner house of hers having been vacant so very long. He desired to help her and would buy it from her at such a price" - the price named being double what she had bought it for. With a flash of heaven's own indignation in her eye she rebuked the tempter and replied, "No, Sir, rather let it remain for ever empty; the Lord will provide."

Thus with marked common sense, much power of will, much dependence upon God, she trained her children and brought them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, ever teaching them, "'Tis only noble to be good." Every day, amid all her cares, anxieties, and worldly labour, she set apart a time for reading the whole of the Established church lessons for the day, and for communion with her god. She prayed for her children and with them, both together and separately, and while so devoted to them, she spared not punishment when she deemed it necessary. To those of her ministers with whom she could feel most at home, she commanded her offspring, that more immediate oversight and spiritual care might be exercised over them. Perhaps above all others the Rev Ralph Waller should be named as one who took a marked and deep interest in all that concerned their eternal welfare.

Her life after her retirement form business and the settlement of her children was not one of rest, but of ceaseless activity. She combined the Characters of both Martha and Mary, for she was careful and troubled about many things, but she had also chosen the better part. While she confided all to Jesus, she likewise considered it to be her duty to help herself in every way she could, knowing that thus she would be helped by God. In all her labour it may be said with truthfulness that she was helping others, for a more self-denying, self-forgetful woman it would be difficult to find. She seemed only happy in the happiness of others, so that it was woven into the weft and warp of her every-day life. She not only did good openly, but by stealth, and many now rise up to call her blessed. God seemed to have completely delivered her from "pride, vainglory, and hypocrisy; from envy, hatred, malice, and from all uncharitableness." She never spake ill of an, however bad, but always with ready thoughtfulness made excuses for them - they were ever to be pitied, never reviled. Her children may not aver that their mother was perfect, but they only remember her many excellences.

On Thursday 23 September she went for her short daily walk, but soon returned, saying she felt the wind very cold. Shortly afterwards she complained of great pain, which continued several hours, and then subsided. Though she seemed to suffer from exhaustion, nothing serious was apprehended as she had suffered in a like manner several times before. On the following morning she wished to rise and join the family at breakfast, but was persuaded to keep her room, though reluctant to do so, her nature was so active. The following day she appeared weaker, yet onto so weak as to cause alarm. Now the gentleness and tenderness of god was remarkably manifest to His loving servant. She always had an unaccountable shrinking at the thought of death, and, but a few weeks before, after singing that beautiful hymn commencing,

She said to her children present, "Ah! That is what, after all, I feel I cannot truthfully say: -

And now, less that one hour before she departed, having neither herself nor those about her any thought of the immediate approach of death, she gave lovingly considerate advice to her daughter to protect herself from cold, and desired the nurse to look after her little grandchild, lest harm should come to him. She then seemed to doze, but it was all over as to earth's joys and sadness, for the angel of the Covenant had overshadowed with his outstretched wing her consciousness. Shortly after she breathed two or three most gentle sighs and so slept in Jesus. When the wing was again folded her eyes had opened upon the King in His beauty in the land that is very far off. Thus does he teach His fearful children to listen to His voice as he says, "It is I, be not afraid;" and also show us how the troubles we most dread may never happen. She died on 25 September 1875, aged seventy-seven years.

With peculiar appropriateness may her children and friends pray, "Let me die the death of righteousness, and let my last end be like hers."

The Rev John Hudston, assisted by the Rev Dr Alexander McLeod, conducted the burial service and committed to the dust "that precious porcelain of human clay" so loved on earth, and her soul to Him who gave it, amid the weeping of a considerable assembly of friends, which had gathered together to pay their last token of respect to one whose character they so much admired.

She greatly loved the Connexion and its Ministers, from many of whom the family have received letters expressive of deep sympathy and of the great admiration they had of her Christ-like life. "

THOMAS HANMER

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